Adoxography: Beautiful writing on a subject of little or no importance
I'm exhausted.
These past few days, I have not been able to sleep. In the nights.
The rays of the Sun in the morning are unbearable.
I sleep diagonally, on my king sized bed, made for two, used by one, feels for one.
My room is pretty cosy. That is probably because of the mess that is all around. I have two broken almirahs. One, done by me, One done by I don't know who, but I think I was about 5 or something. I've seen broken things since I was small. But no one got it repaired because it's hardly of any use. It's a steel grey steel almirah, with nothing but some old files, books, electronic crap and of course, childhood pictures, where my brother's pictures outnumber mine. Clearly I was the lesser loved child. Clearly. But as clear as this was, my room is not. It was a wreck. But I like it the way it is. Except for those voices which come out at the middle of the night, sometimes of plastic swirling on the ground or something falling off from my 2 racks which are full of clothes. Sometimes, I fear that the luggage and other stuff packed in suitcases and cardboard boxes will fall on me while I am sleeping but I do nothing about it. Simply because, it has not fallen down on me, yet.
I kind of still like it.
So, since the past few days, I have been using my sleepless nights as a platform to start practicing on my sketching. It still looks like crap but you gotta push yourself. Today is one such night. Just, I am a bit sick. Down with a bit of cold and fever, due to being so exhausted. Nothing serious.
I was doing a figure study today. Basically, sketching the female torso. I was nervous at first as this was my first time but it was essential. So I picked up my 2D and 3D staedtler pencils (I lost all the others) and got to work. After drawing some basic sketches, I logged on to my facebook, in hope of seeing a "hey" from this person, who shall be talked about later, probably when you meet me in person.
I did not get a hey.
But what I got in return is priceless.
I found a new word.
Adoxography.
Facebook for me is not just a social networking site where I chit chat with people, write on their walls, fill my walls with my crap and stuff like that. Facebook to me now is something like an instant newspaper or magazine. It has everything, the latest news, political, geographical, whatever.. It is the platform of showing me what my younger and older generation is up to. It is for me, a new level of dictionary. Most importantly, it is for me, the stage where all the like minded people come together and have open discussions about almost everything. Starting from how is the food is in this restaurant to what the meaning of life and death is. It's got it all covered.
But today, it acted like an inspiration.
It gave me a new word and also the inspiration to write this post.
So, the word, Adoxography.
I found this on this page I liked called 'Wordporn'. (well adding porn to stuff like food, word etc seems to be the new trend)
This word is so new to me and probably to most of us (unless of course you saw it on wordporn already) that my computer is failing to recognise it and underlines it with a red squiggly line, which determines that it's a spelling mistake, like most of our names are to this piece of technology, one being mine. The replacement of the word is even more remarkable.
It's Radiography, haha.
So, getting back to Adoxography. It's meaning is 'beautiful writing on a subject of little or no importance.'
As complex as the word looks, as complex is its meaning. Well at least to me. Let me explain why.
It says it's a piece of beautiful writing on a subject of little or no meaning. Now the first question that popped in my mind after reading this was, "what can the subject be?". Interesting, is it not? The subject can differ from a person to person. For me, the first "subject" that came to my mind was, the most cliched and the most overthought (not sure if it's a word but what is the harm in creating one) topic, Love.
Now well, I know, most of you might think that what kind of a lame subject is that. When it is so talked about and so cliched, so "overthought", how can it have an Adoxography? Well, to some of you, it may be of a lot of importance. But to me, it is merely a word, an emotion, which I have felt and certainly do not wish to feel again.
Love.
It rips you off. It's like a thug. It will steal your soul, rip your confidence, it will bring you down in ways not imaginable, it's an emotion which has given birth to many other emotions. But yet, everybody wants it. I did too. I got it. And boy, I can tell you, I am done. So for me, love, the most talked about, cliched, and "overthought" topic is something meaningless and something which I am definitely not getting a hold on to in the future.
Love.
Whenever I see someone talk about it, how they feel, how love feels, I cringe a little. It's that feeling you get sometimes, like someone is squeezing your stomach. It's just that this time, it's not my stomach, it's my face. I feel bad for them because in the end, GOD FORBID, if something happens, they fall out of it, he falls out of it, she falls out of it, somebody quits loving, What will they feel? What will they do, then? Will they start hating, or hold on to loving, finding the right one, risking their heart and emotions who could do the same thing which was done to them earlier, or something worse.
Now if it works out between the two, it's all good, it's brilliant. For them love is the most essential thing. It makes them happy. I on the other hand, after my battered heart decided to love again, not necessarily a man, or a woman or an animal, anyone and everyone, I could not. Because usually most of them gave me the reason not to. So I gave up on love. So I gave up on,
Love.
Now you may think that I should not be so critical about things, but hey, that's just the way "love" has made me. However everything about love is not bad. I like the whole concept of being pampered and treating once correctly, which I have started doing to myself, recently, like staying in, watching movies and having ice cream and sketching and waiting for the "hey" which instantly brightens me up. But that's not love, or maybe it is, but it's still a rare topic for me. One, which is of very little value or no value at all.
But my wait, for that little "hey" is of no value to the person who I need to hear it from. I am just mere. So are our conversations, so is my affection.
So for him, probably I am an Adoxography.
Well at least, I get to be beautiful in some way...
Oh Lord what have I done.
I'm exhausted.
These past few days, I have not been able to sleep. In the nights.
The rays of the Sun in the morning are unbearable.
I sleep diagonally, on my king sized bed, made for two, used by one, feels for one.
My room is pretty cosy. That is probably because of the mess that is all around. I have two broken almirahs. One, done by me, One done by I don't know who, but I think I was about 5 or something. I've seen broken things since I was small. But no one got it repaired because it's hardly of any use. It's a steel grey steel almirah, with nothing but some old files, books, electronic crap and of course, childhood pictures, where my brother's pictures outnumber mine. Clearly I was the lesser loved child. Clearly. But as clear as this was, my room is not. It was a wreck. But I like it the way it is. Except for those voices which come out at the middle of the night, sometimes of plastic swirling on the ground or something falling off from my 2 racks which are full of clothes. Sometimes, I fear that the luggage and other stuff packed in suitcases and cardboard boxes will fall on me while I am sleeping but I do nothing about it. Simply because, it has not fallen down on me, yet.
I kind of still like it.
So, since the past few days, I have been using my sleepless nights as a platform to start practicing on my sketching. It still looks like crap but you gotta push yourself. Today is one such night. Just, I am a bit sick. Down with a bit of cold and fever, due to being so exhausted. Nothing serious.
I was doing a figure study today. Basically, sketching the female torso. I was nervous at first as this was my first time but it was essential. So I picked up my 2D and 3D staedtler pencils (I lost all the others) and got to work. After drawing some basic sketches, I logged on to my facebook, in hope of seeing a "hey" from this person, who shall be talked about later, probably when you meet me in person.
I did not get a hey.
But what I got in return is priceless.
I found a new word.
Adoxography.
Facebook for me is not just a social networking site where I chit chat with people, write on their walls, fill my walls with my crap and stuff like that. Facebook to me now is something like an instant newspaper or magazine. It has everything, the latest news, political, geographical, whatever.. It is the platform of showing me what my younger and older generation is up to. It is for me, a new level of dictionary. Most importantly, it is for me, the stage where all the like minded people come together and have open discussions about almost everything. Starting from how is the food is in this restaurant to what the meaning of life and death is. It's got it all covered.
But today, it acted like an inspiration.
It gave me a new word and also the inspiration to write this post.
So, the word, Adoxography.
I found this on this page I liked called 'Wordporn'. (well adding porn to stuff like food, word etc seems to be the new trend)
This word is so new to me and probably to most of us (unless of course you saw it on wordporn already) that my computer is failing to recognise it and underlines it with a red squiggly line, which determines that it's a spelling mistake, like most of our names are to this piece of technology, one being mine. The replacement of the word is even more remarkable.
It's Radiography, haha.
So, getting back to Adoxography. It's meaning is 'beautiful writing on a subject of little or no importance.'
As complex as the word looks, as complex is its meaning. Well at least to me. Let me explain why.
It says it's a piece of beautiful writing on a subject of little or no meaning. Now the first question that popped in my mind after reading this was, "what can the subject be?". Interesting, is it not? The subject can differ from a person to person. For me, the first "subject" that came to my mind was, the most cliched and the most overthought (not sure if it's a word but what is the harm in creating one) topic, Love.
Now well, I know, most of you might think that what kind of a lame subject is that. When it is so talked about and so cliched, so "overthought", how can it have an Adoxography? Well, to some of you, it may be of a lot of importance. But to me, it is merely a word, an emotion, which I have felt and certainly do not wish to feel again.
Love.
It rips you off. It's like a thug. It will steal your soul, rip your confidence, it will bring you down in ways not imaginable, it's an emotion which has given birth to many other emotions. But yet, everybody wants it. I did too. I got it. And boy, I can tell you, I am done. So for me, love, the most talked about, cliched, and "overthought" topic is something meaningless and something which I am definitely not getting a hold on to in the future.
Love.
Whenever I see someone talk about it, how they feel, how love feels, I cringe a little. It's that feeling you get sometimes, like someone is squeezing your stomach. It's just that this time, it's not my stomach, it's my face. I feel bad for them because in the end, GOD FORBID, if something happens, they fall out of it, he falls out of it, she falls out of it, somebody quits loving, What will they feel? What will they do, then? Will they start hating, or hold on to loving, finding the right one, risking their heart and emotions who could do the same thing which was done to them earlier, or something worse.
Now if it works out between the two, it's all good, it's brilliant. For them love is the most essential thing. It makes them happy. I on the other hand, after my battered heart decided to love again, not necessarily a man, or a woman or an animal, anyone and everyone, I could not. Because usually most of them gave me the reason not to. So I gave up on love. So I gave up on,
Love.
Now you may think that I should not be so critical about things, but hey, that's just the way "love" has made me. However everything about love is not bad. I like the whole concept of being pampered and treating once correctly, which I have started doing to myself, recently, like staying in, watching movies and having ice cream and sketching and waiting for the "hey" which instantly brightens me up. But that's not love, or maybe it is, but it's still a rare topic for me. One, which is of very little value or no value at all.
But my wait, for that little "hey" is of no value to the person who I need to hear it from. I am just mere. So are our conversations, so is my affection.
So for him, probably I am an Adoxography.
Well at least, I get to be beautiful in some way...
Oh Lord what have I done.
