Lady.

There is me

And this late night.

And this lady's face which is staring at me for some reason.

There is good music

And memories of good times

And bad ones

Too.

My eyes are sore,

I let a tear or two flow more than

The usual.

I am usually alone,

But today, this lady decided to give me company.

She says she is always there,

Watching me,

Whenever we are at the same place,

Trying to guide me,

More like scare me.

I keep alone usually.

But I did not mind company this time.

She is a lot like me though. 

Her thoughts are like mine.

Her stories as well. 

And her lies.

She says she really has never met someone like me.

She says I am like a day,

With 24 hours.

Constantly changing every minute,

Every hour,

Every day.

To make a year.  

A year is something longer. 

A year is  something longer for someone like,

Me.

That is what she says. 

She says it hurts her.

To see me whine and not being able to find words which will

Make me feel. 

Better?

To which I said,

There is no good?

How can there be,

Better. 

She keeps quiet for a minute. 

Stops.

And says,

She does not believe in me sometimes.

She says it is hard to believe.

She says, I cannot make it through. 

And when I told her I did, 

She vanished.

There was no woman.

After all. 

There is no one in this room.

Just a dim light.

Some memories.

And good music.

Who the hell have I been talking to?

Again?

The swing

Suddenly but yet again, it all just went,
In a flash,
And was changed with the feeling of resentment.
I was left alone again.
I tried to keep it off my face but this time I felt too,
weak.
I just was not interested anymore.
In myself.
In her.
In him.
And then I saw him.
One of the two.
But I did not realize it.
So now,
I was alone again.
I was so strong once.
Shattered again, towards a new end.
It is killing me.
I mean it really.
It's taken enough.
Enough.
I do not know myself anymore.
I cannot help myself, anymore.
I need someone.
But I cannot have them.
Cause in the end,
It always ends.
Me and Her.
Me and Them.
Me and
Him.
Him.
The problems in life just keep on adding.
I cannot trust anyone.
I should not be them around too.
But for me, that is just too rude.
I actually am feeling so blank right now.
But yet so hurt.
I do not know how that works.
But it just does.
Just like this world.
Just like this one
Mood Swing.
And it does not end here.
As usual.

Out of love

It starts here a new beginning, It called me here.
I take a stick out in your name and begin smoking it.
I don't know where to start, but I know how to end.
I end, I lose in the end, I am well aware of it.

I cannot look in your eye anymore, or your baby photos.
I cannot be the judge anymore, I cannot be biased to myself.
I do not however understand, why you want me to be there.
It just cannot take it anymore, my heart is hollow, but I can hear it scream.

It just will not let me go, it's grip is too strong.
I smoke another cigarette thinking of how I went wrong.
I lie down on the ground, lying to myself.
I try to take all your pain, I cannot see you looking for help.

I wish I could make things right, the way you want to.
I wish I could go against my own, but I'm not my own.
I would want to kiss you goodbye, and sail far away from you.
It kills me to say goodbye, but I have to leave you alone.

It starts here a new beginning, It called me here.
I take a stick out in your name and begin smoking it.
I am sorry to leave you out love, I am sorry to play this game.
Today I have to go, before I turn you insane.